I am a busy dad (hoping my wife skips this line). My wife and I raise two little boys alone in a nuclear setup, not by choice. With a 4-year-old and a cheeky toddler at home with contrasting personalities, office work seems simpler. They keep me engaged till the time I pick up my keys to drive off to work.
They both need Love.
Elder One (EO) seeks attention and the other needs attention at least that is what we thought until today.
It all started when it was park time and my dear wife dressed up the younger one (YO) in a little military camouflage track pants, the first born comes running – ‘I like that, I want to wear it’. My wife goes ‘you don’t have one like that, it is your Thambi’s (younger brother)’. Clearly that wasn’t the response he was expecting, and off he goes crying. We tried to reason out like any ‘smart’ parent to a 4-year-old. And he responds ‘Every time you buy for him and you don’t ask me if I want one like that’. How true was that? And how did we not realize it?
Guilty as charged.
We both stood wondering – isn’t that the truth.
We have been focusing on the younger one, assuming the elder one is fine. But he needs more care and love and attention. Simple reason – he had all of it for himself the last few years.
Today suddenly there is someone to grab a share from his mom time, dad time, cuddles and morning kisses. Maybe he feels it is all about the limelight shifting away from him. The moment to introspect, we realized it was not about the camouflage pants.
It was more than that.
It was about him wanting us to see & treat him the same way before the little one arrived. The reason is simple he is seeing us the same way as he did from the day of his first cry.
He hasn’t changed, why did we change?
The parent resolution for today was to focus more on the first born, for he is the one who needs more attention.
All these days we thought EO was seeking attention, how wrong were we?
He wasn’t seeking, he just needed it. Not just little, a pocket full.
We all know the Prodigal son story, how relevant is that in today’s time. Keeping my faith aside, I don’t think the father was fair. The PS would have rode off in one of his Superbikes if it was 2017. Just saying.
To read our other posts on Positive Parenting- Click Here.