If you have been following this blog, you must have noticed that we welcomed a cute bundle of Joy a month back.
In this post, I wanted to talk of how you could prepare your toddler to make the entire episode a happy one.
It is such an awesome news that the family will grow, but it is quiet overwhelming and challenging for your toddler.
Here are some tips that we used that kind of eased or transitioned our toddler well.
1. Let your toddler know the good news right from the beginning. My toddler knew he was going to a brother when I was 2 months pregnant.
2. Take your toddler along to the hospital visits and scan appointments. My boy was present during all scans and he got to watch the little baby on the scan monitors.
3. I let my little boy apply stretch marks cream on my tummy and had him gently stroke the tummy.
4. We spoke positively about the baby and told him when the baby is here he would have company to talk and play.
5. We took advantage of all newborn visits in the friends and family circle. While we were there we told him that is how our new baby would be.
6. We took him while we shopped for our newborn.
7. I told him his birth story of how he was born and how I instantly fell in love with him. I kept reminding him of how new baby would come in from my tummy as well.
8. We spoke about how we would get to stay in hospital for a while when the baby comes in.
9. We shopped few toys to keep him busy during hospital visits and we wrapped a car for him. We told him that baby got him this gift 😉
10. We told him that we would move to my parents place and prepared him that his grandma and grandpa will take care of him.
11. When he first met his brother we asked him to kiss the baby gently.
12. Once we came home with the baby, we got his help in reaching out for diapers, massage lotions and other things.
13. I asked his preferences of the two choices of dress we would dress for the baby. Sometimes the combinations were funny but it gave him a sense of belonging and contributing to the baby 🙂
While this was all done we made sure he got enough attention during the whole pregnancy and after the baby’s arrival.
Afterall that would be the only time your toddler will be your only child 😉
We made sure he does not feel left out and I and my husband tried to him undivided attention.
Honestly with a newborn it was tough but we did our part 🙂
P.S: Below are the things I wish I had done differently.
1. I could have weaned my toddler during my pregnancy. Tandem breastfeeding got difficult while my little one started cluster feeding at 4 weeks.
2. I wish I had let my toddler stay in the hospital on the first day of baby’s arrival. That was our first and only night away from me.
3. I wish I had read books about the baby’s arrival.
4. Finally, I wish we three had gone on a tour or something which would have been memorable 🙂
And good luck to you on your new arrival. Also if you have ideas and inputs on this, please leave it on the comment and I will add those pointers on this post 🙂
It’s been two weeks since I had a newborn. I wanted to share my positive C-section story with you all. C-section and happy positive in the same sentence? Well, I did have one 🙂
Three years back when I was pregnant with my first born, all the pregnancy books I read spoke about vaginal birth (vaginal birth only).
I was so confident that I would have a vaginal birth and C-section was not the word for me. I assumed and envisioned my birth story like this- Water breaks (from all the English movies I had watched), followed by rushing to the hospital minus the crazy car drive, swishing through the labor room in a stretcher and having the baby within few hours. Who was I kidding?
What actually happened? Water broke early in the morning, we packed our hospital bag of whatever we could grab in our close reach, visited a couple of churches, registered in the hospital reception, walked to a room were people kept doing internal examinations on me and then contractions began but I didn’t progress.
Six hours later while they kept me waiting, I suddenly blacked out and there was panic all over the room. They all pointed to the baby heart rate monitor and spoke louder. Apparently, the baby was going through distress and I was following the doctor’s command like a robot being keyed to do things. There at that moment, my birth plan had gone for a toss out of the window and it took me a full year to get over my traumatic birth story.
Now when I analyze why it took me so long to accept my C-section birth, I have only one answer. I was not prepared for a possible C-section for I was told and made to believe that it was not the norm.
This time around I have a different story to say 🙂
Though I wanted to have a VBAC tried, I also had a birth plan for a C-section if things don’t go as I wanted.
- My Ob-Gyn and I spoke about my birth plan and I explained all my expectations to her.
- We spoke about the pain management after birth.
- We spoke about my fibroid cyst and if they would remove it or let it be.
- We spoke about how we could manage the visitors and how to get enough rest in the first few days.
- My anesthetist and I discussed about the anesthesia options and the pros and cons of having a general anesthesia.
- More importantly, she explained my mom about the 4th day baby blues which was new to her.
On the 18th morning when my VBAC plans was not happening, I gave up and said I am a having a C-section. They drove me to the operation theater. While they moved me on the stretcher, I waved bye to my husband, lil boy and my parents.
They lay me on the bed and gave me five minutes to settle down (like I was going to take an exam ;-)). My anesthetist came in and gave my spinal. The nurses already knew my phobia for the needles and helped me calm down before that. And then the anesthetist talked me through the entire surgery. My gynae told me that the baby should be out in next two minutes and I started to wait like a hawk.
There came the little man and they immediately put him on my breast. I got to touch his forehead, noticed that he had loads of hair and was immediately smitten. J The skin to skin and delayed chord clamping made the C-section worthwhile 🙂 What followed is a blurred memory.
I remember the nurses giving the baby again to me while I was in the recovery room and two nurses put the baby on my breast for his first feed and kick started our breastfeeding journey. The golden hour of breastfeeding is what I read on the internet and insisted that I have it done before they shift me and baby to our room.
The second day the catheter was removed and they had me walking inside the room. I took all the pain killers given and was discharged to home in the next three days. Overall, things were under control and everything went as per plan 🙂
I made peace with my C-section and my scars when I understood that the result is more important than the process when it comes to a newborn. All I wanted was a baby- a healthy baby. I don’t care of how I brought him to this world which would not be a question in ten years from now.
There after three years of mind struggle- I have learnt to let go 🙂
Tips for a positive C-section:
- Write your birth plan down and find a gynae who would support it.
- Read about delayed chord clamping, skin to skin and breast crawl and see if that is what you would want.
- I requested for my gown to be one arm free and open on top so they need not struggle to remove my gown to have skin to skin.
- Get to know the anesthesia options and figure out what works for you.
- If you would like your partner to be with you, check for the feasibility in the hospital
- Let your medical team know prior about your breastfeeding plans.
- Take all the pain killers offered to you.
- Sit and walk sooner after they get your catheter removed.
- Take enough fluids and make sure you rest your back enough.
- This new mom pads and the pad fixator made my life even easier.
And finally remember, it is not a failure if you had a C-section and you can have a positive C-section experience too 🙂